"alak"

My friend txt me last night. may problema daw sya. she wanted to tell me her troubles but she can't seem to say it. nahihiya daw sya. i told her, she better tell me what it is so she'll feel better. i told her... "alam mo, parang e**k lang yan eh. nakakahiyang ilabas. pero kapag nailabas mo na, ang sarap ng feeling. ...and her reply?...

"hayup sa analogy"

sabi nya, idadaan na lang nya sa inom..

funny.. i used to tell that to myself. every time there were unwanted events in my life, i always, well almost always, turned to alcohol. beer for that matter. hah.. those days.. i don't know either to laugh about my mistakes or shrink about my insanities. i have done a lot of stupid things.. the most stupidest things you could have thought of.. when i was drank. haha... ung tipong hindi ko na maalala what happened the previous night. or i would simply choose not to remember at all. and yeah.. because i felt i did something stupid. and it defeats the purpose of my turning to beer in the first place.. (to forget my worries?) being drank and not remembering what happened only adds up to my endless worries. but it added to my escapades. charge to experience ika nga nila. on the other hand, it's nice to have let everything inside you just spill out. without thinking what others would say. or how they would react. (well because you can't control yourself, lango sa alak eh). haha. i can't say that i regret those parts of my life when i am a bitch. but i didn't say i am proud of it either. let's just say that it was part of my insane past. and somehow, i learned from it. well, i learned from it, a lot.

it was over a year now when i had my last shot of beer. and i can't say that i missed it. if there's something i missed, it was not the taste of beer. but the company of those you drank with. the family, the friends. the ones you converse with during the "session". the funny jokes. the sad and teary stories. wala lang.. yung samahan ng barkada.. that's what i missed most. and of course, their stories about me when all i can remember was nothing from the previous nights.

**sigh**

i don't know how to react actually. remembering those times when i feel stupid i laughed at myself. and if you're gonna ask me if i wanted to do that again? well.. it depends...

Shot ka muna!

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