what is love?

love is the desire to be part of or one with something beautiful

-it’s from a friend’s entry on friendster when asked what is love.

well, what if you declared to love someone. but being a part of or being one with him/her is not something beautiful? would it still be called love?

what if being part of him/her is something like chaos and unending twist of bad luck? would it still be love?

what if you declared your love and it is not reciprocated? would you still desire to be a part of that somebody? if you do, would it still be called love? even if you know it would not be something beautiful?

LOVE is a decision for me. when you decide to love, you stick to it. when it changes from beautiful to ugly, you won’t just let go of love.

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somehow, as i progressed in writing this journal, i became confused.

of what my real stand is. of what i really believe in.

am i really gonna stick with love? if it doesn’t stick with me?

Is love a tender thing? it is too rough,
Too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn.
-romeo

or is this the answer i wanted to believe? is this the advice i wanted to take?

If love be rough with you, be rough with love;
Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.
-mercutio

cellphone part II

i found my phone.

when i got home the other day, it was there.
andrei got it from somewhere. obviously he hid it somewhere too.

the thing is: the thing simply won't turn on!

cellphone

i have been looking for my cellphone the whole day.
well i am not really bothered that my phone is missing. i am not really into phone these days. (or make it months or years if you like). besides i can live without a phone really. nobody really text me. and i rarely text anybody anyway. just my mom, my dad, my youngest sister and occasionally my hubby. we don't have anything interesting to say to each other. except inquiries and how are you's. well, from time to time i text my auntie when i need my allowance and my thesis partner when we need to work on something.
oh, and someone else text me every once in a while. maybe every month or two i receive text messages from long lost friends updating their phone numbers or sending me quotes. i always replied with "how are you" when i have load. we would exchange greetings then after a few message, that's it. they would never text again for who knows how long. but when i don't have a load, well, their messages just fill my inbox.
now, why do i need my phone right now?
oh! because i have to go to my aunt's office tomorrow and i also have to meet my thesis partner tomorrow. now how would i know where we would meet..
where did andrei put my phone?!
anyway, i can always borrow natoy's phone... hehe

near-death experience

You could run from someone you feared, you could try to fight someone you hated. All my reactions were geared toward those kinds of killers – the monsters, the enemies. When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give your beloved, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?

ahw...

"You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."

-- Edward Cullen.